My All Time Favorite Joke

by Conor Friedersdorf

A man walks into a bar.

He wears a charcoal gray suit, a charcoal hat, charcoal socks, black leather shoes, and a silver Porsche watch on the wrist of the hand that carries a rather large briefcase, which he carefully sets down before straddling a stool and addressing the bartender.

“A Knob Creek Manhattan, up,” the man says.

“Sure thing, buddy.”

As the bartender turns his back to mix the drink, the contents of the briefcase are emptied, and when he returns, serving the drink on a square napkin, he sees spread out on the shiny wooden bar top a miniature piano, a tiny piano stool to scale, and atop it a little man, 12 inches tall, playing faint music that sounds like Brahms’ Piano Concerto 2 in B flat major.

“Well I’ll be damned,” the bartender says. “Where did you get a little guy like that?” He hunches over to scrutinize the musician more closely. “Look at those long, tiny fingers!”

The man, having gulped half his drink, says nothing, but the bartender presses him, and finally he erupts. “It’s a long story,” the man says. “But it all started with this magic lamp.” At this he reaches back into the briefcase, produces in his diminutive hands a small, golden lamp, and shoves it toward the bartender, who yanks the towel from his waist and begins polishing.

POOOF!

When the smoke clears, a genie is revealed hovering in the air between the man and the bartender. “You’ve got one wish,” the genie demands. “Use it or lose it.”

The bartender stammers. “I’ll be,” he says, feeling rushed. “Well I guess I wish for… I wish for… I wish for $10 million bucks!”

POOOF!

The genie is gone.

The bar is quiet, except for the faint sound of Brahms rising from the bar top, and the bartender, regaining his composure, starts to worry.

“Hey, what about my wish,” he says. “Nothing happened.”

But that very moment, over at the open door, a fluttering is heard, and then a quack, and in waddles a duck, followed by a second duck, and a third — and soon the bar is filling with a badelynge, a bunch, a brace, a grouse, a whole flock of quacking mallards. They stream in without end.

“Now wait just a minute,” the bartender cries. “I see what’s happening here! I didn’t wish for a million ducks! I wished for a million bucks!”

The man, world weary, sighs knowingly.

“Do you think,” he said, “that I wished for a twelve inch pianist?”

This is just something funny we saw on Eric Durchholz's site

Eric Durcholz is brilliant. Here is an interview.

KOMAKI, Japan – It’s springtime in Japan and that means one thing.

Actually, two things. Penis festivals and vagina festivals.

It may sound like a sophomoric gag. But these are folk rites going back at least 1,500 years, into Japan’s agricultural past. They’re held to ensure a good harvest and promote baby-making.
…Meanwhile, the festivals provide an economic shot in the arm for host cities, a party for foreign tourists and expats, and a chance for locals to let loose, too.

One of the best-known penis festivals is at Komaki City’s Tagata shrine, about 45 minutes outside Nagoya, every March 15.

…The penis festival the following day drew far more foreign and Japanese tourists – some 100,000, according to a festival brochure. Festival foreplay included much posing with wooden and candy penises. The main event is the parading of a two-foot by six-and-a-half foot long phallus carved from Japanese cypress.

Las Vegas could use one of these! We can hardly wait for the day they parade one of these things down the Las Vegas Strip.

Read the Full Article

Kelly emailed us a while back and mentioned his huge 10 inch dick. Naturally, we were anxious to meet him!

Tonight, he came over and a very fine time was had by all. Such a very pleasant, bright, and polite young man! Greg had to go out on a call but, still, they got a chance to meet and to chat for a little while. Greg is an excellent mentor (see How to Be a Male Escort)

Then we chatted some more and I made Kelly’s new page: kelly.callboylv.com

We will be adding more photos real soon.

And now there’s talk of a tell-all book by Levi about Sarah Palin!

Here is another update.

Johnston himself took the phone for a moment to chime in, telling Us: “I just get naked. That’s what I do.

Levi Johnston is going for the ultimate exposure – the 19-year-old father of Sarah Palin’s grandchild will pose nude for Playgirl, his lawyer said.

To get ready for his close-up, Mr Johnston is training three hours a day, six nights a week at an Anchorage gym with a local body builder.

A formal agreement hasn’t been reached with the online magazine, but the photo shoot is a “foregone conclusion,” said Mr Johnston’s lawyer, Rex Butler.

Full Article

And a video from CNN. Like Levi, Anderson Cooper also works out.

Even Anderson’s friend Andrew Sullivan finds he’s got to go with “the redneck“.

Naturally, Greg did not believe a word of it.

So they sent photos.

It’s the craziest thing! We approve, of course, but it’s still unbelievable. ROFL.

The proper name is Haeshindang Park

Penis Park in Seoul, Korea

Secrets of the Phallus: Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?

…according to evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup of the State University of New York at Albany, the human penis is actually an impressive “tool” in the truest sense of the word, one manufactured by nature over hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution. You may be surprised to discover just how highly specialized a tool it is. Furthermore, you’d be amazed at what its appearance can tell us about the nature of our sexuality.